Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
