Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
