i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize