Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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