Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
