It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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