The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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