i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
