So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Mom said you looked used
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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