...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just invented taco cereal.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
