We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
