Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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