some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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