FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
