I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
