I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize