I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
