what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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