Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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