redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
not ubering you a puppy
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
