I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
wrigley field is MILF paradise
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
