I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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