I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
