I wish you could order shots online.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
