yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
