i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
