But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
