I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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