she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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