I just pynch a tree in the face
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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