I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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