So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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