im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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