Jerry, you need to find god
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
