Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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