pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
