carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
