You made me cry and you don't even care
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
