Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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