you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
