also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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