Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
