I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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