Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
