peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
