Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize