We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
