Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
