I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
