But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
