So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
