Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
