i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
