Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
