I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
