Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
