I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
