we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
