i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
