I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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