So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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