pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
