There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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