I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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