What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize