I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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