I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize