sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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