Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
