he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
