so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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