I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
