i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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