is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
