Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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