who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
