Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
